griffinick: (Wolf)
[personal profile] griffinick
My grandfather is dying. Cancer. Very fast growing cancer, which apparently has been forming for a while. I have no idea how much longer he'll be around, but it's perhaps a couple weeks at most.

He went into the hospital about a week ago with severe belly pain. The doctors ran all sorts of tests, but I sort of thought, given the symptoms, that it was perhaps a bad case of indigestion or blockage. I was waiting to hear when he'd get better and be back on his feet. It never dawned on me that he'd never recover. The news, which came today from Pathology, stunned me. It was all I could do to go teach my afternoon classes.

I love my grandfather, and have always had a very close relationship with him (and with my grandmother, who died in 2006). I suppose a naive part of me believed he'd always be there, and the news shocked that part of me into a very unhappy reality.

He will never see me get tenure.
He will never see me get married.
He will never meet or know of my children.
He will never read my first book.

I always thought (or at least hoped) that he would be there for those milestones in my life. I can't even imagine what a void he will leave. All I can do now is prepare myself for the inevitable.

Date: 2008-09-06 12:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

I'm so sorry, sweetie...

Date: 2008-09-06 01:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm so sorry. That's so hard.

Date: 2008-09-06 01:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thoughts are with you... I had a similar experience with the death of my grandmother - whose anti-biotic resistant bronchitis turned out to be Stage 4 lung cancer. My sister and I were able to visit her in Florida those last few months, and we also made it to the hospital to see her one last time at the end. I hope you have the chance to spend some time with him in the weeks to come - it will comfort him and you all the more - though of course the shock and pain will still be there.

Date: 2008-09-06 01:44 am (UTC)

Oh sweetie

Date: 2008-09-06 03:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am so very sorry to hear that, he is such a lovely man (and there aren't many in this world that one can say that about with no second thoughts or hesitation).

I wish with all my heart that I were with you there now, just to lean on.

While the jury is still out for me on the whole after death thing, I do believe that our loved ones are never totally gone. Even though it's not the same, I do very much believe that he WILL be there for all those things you mentioned; just not quite in the way we would wish him to be.

I love you, you know that. My thoughts are very much with you and your mother now. Please let her know that as well, I'm sure she's having a very hard time too.

Date: 2008-10-09 05:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I can say without hesitation that he was one of the best parts of my law school experience and I will never forget him.

Date: 2008-09-06 03:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm so sorry to hear that.

Date: 2008-09-06 04:40 am (UTC)
siderea: (Default)
From: [personal profile] siderea
I am so very sorry. You're in my thoughts.

Date: 2008-09-06 04:51 am (UTC)
ext_107301: (Default)
From: [identity profile]
I'm so sorry. *hugs*

Date: 2008-09-06 05:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Baruch dayan emet.

Date: 2008-09-06 10:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*hugsez* darling. Any chance you will get to spend some time with him in the near future? Might not be for everyone, but for me getting those last few stories heard from the grandparents eased the blow a little.

Date: 2008-09-06 01:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm sorry. Hang in.

Date: 2008-09-06 02:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm really sorry to hear this...I felt the same way about my dad, who I really, really expected to be there for my wedding and my kids...I always imagined sitting around the kitchen table with him bsing while my kids were around, a very fond memory I have of my father and grandfather together.

I don't really know what else to say, other than enjoy the time you've had with him.

Date: 2008-09-06 02:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh no. *hugs*

If it's any comfort, I feel the way [ profile] aunt_reexy does about our loved ones not being gone. We can talk about it off-journal sometime if you want.

Date: 2008-09-07 12:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am so sorry.

Date: 2008-09-07 03:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm so sorry to hear that. Poor Ilana. I'm sure your grandmother is waiting for him to arrive. And, maybe this won't make you feel better, but even if he'll miss out on all those future things, at least he did get to see you graduate and get a job and buy a house and so many things. He was with you for many great achievements in your life and even small ones too.
Love you.

Date: 2008-09-07 03:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm so sorry!

Date: 2008-09-08 10:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh no. I'm so sorry.

Date: 2008-09-10 12:13 pm (UTC)
owlfish: (Default)
From: [personal profile] owlfish
I'm very sorry to hear the news. I'm glad he's been with you for as much of your life as he has.

Date: 2008-10-09 03:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm very glad to hear that he's responding well. =) I can't imagine how hard this has all been on you.

Date: 2008-10-17 02:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Dear Scott family, We are very glad to hear that his response has been positive. We pray for that to continue.

Date: 2008-10-09 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm glad you had Moussie and I know he's glad he had (has) you. Love, Jill My heart sank when I read your e-mail.
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